We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
