i jhust puked up my retainher.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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