There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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