Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
