Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
When are your genitals available?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
