Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
