Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
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I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
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He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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