can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
