Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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