I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
