You're completely useless in the revolution.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
