Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
