Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
