therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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