There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
