Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
