NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
