At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
