it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
