non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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