thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
