Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Randomize
