operation harelip BJ is a go
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
