One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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