you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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