I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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