only if we run a train.
done.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
