i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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