Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
And the cops told us we were all naked.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.