If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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