hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
