ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
