i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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