The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
