we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
