I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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