I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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