Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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