I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I intend to get homeless drunk
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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