Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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