There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
