Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
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