There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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