I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
