I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize