Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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