there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
