Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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