I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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