so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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