nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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