the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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