God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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