Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
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