He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
