He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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