Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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