how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
