It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
