He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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