sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
