Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
