it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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