i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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