Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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