Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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