I queefed so loud it echoed.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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